11 more days to go

Hi blog...

Dah lama giler I tak write dalam blog ni... I think I forgot that I have one...hehe..

Anyway...dah banyak benda yang berlaku within this whole year and now dah pon Disember... 2012 bakal menggantikan 2011... I am so excited to welcome 2012 as for me I have a lot of plans to do next year...Hopefully everything will go accordingly...

So a bit story that I would like to share... by the end of this year, I'm getting married to my future husband Khairul Azam Mahmud whom I met in the past 2 years.. Finally, we will be together as husband and wife dalam masa 11 hari lagi.. I am berryyy nervous for that day to come..Please pray for us mudah-mudahan perjalanan majlis nanti berlangsung dengan jayanya..Ameenn..

Dalam dok sebok2 urus hal kerja and bab kawen...sempat jugak me and my future husband cari rumah nk tinggal sama nanti.. Lama jugak stress sbb rumah kat area sini mahal2...but after 2 months struggle we managed to get this beautiful house...sangat teruja and tak sabar nk dudok.. So friends..after this jemput la datang rumah.. (^_^)

Apa pon I am very thankful to Allah and and my friends and family especially my darling Azam...yang banyak support myself selama ni... Thank you berrry much....Luv you all...

Memories...

17 March 2011...

At a friend's house @ my previous place... been here for a week now... kinda bring back a lot of memories..happiness, sadness, tears, intenseness and many other feelings.. Somehow or rather I feel like at home although it is unlikely for me to say so.. Yesss..there are some changes happened around here..but not all of them..everything is very much the same since I left in 2008...

Me and a bunch of friends lived here for quiet some time till each one of us went out to our own private places..We used to love each other and hate each other in this particular house. We used to laugh and cry for many reasons....we enjoy cooking together and invited more friends to join in...it was very nice and the sweetest moment in my life...

Time did so much to us.. Now we are separated and only few are still keeping in touch. But that's life I guess... Once you have started a career and have your own family....friendship will become second or third or the last thing on your mind. Sad but this is reality and the memories will remain as history....something that we only ponder and smile to ourself when it comes to mind...just like what I am doing now..hehe... (^_^)

Well...to those friends....I really appreciate our friendship back then and I wish you all the best luck in your life and maybe one day we'll meet up and reminisce about all these together..miss you all...

New year wish

Wow…it has been more than 3 months I had not updated my blog. So many things had happened to me since then. Maybe it is not too late for me to welcome 2011 and say goodbye to 2010. (Really mean it by saying goodbye!)

I’d rather killed myself then reminisce 2010...that’s how bad it is. It was the biggest test in my 26 years of living. Too many tears were withered and hearts were broken. The worst part was… I’ve betrayed the trust of my only family and embarrassed them with such criminal. In my defence, I’ve already repented…honestly I did…but whether God accept it or not, I don’t know. Now, I’m on a rocking boat without compass…I’ve lost my way - no route to go to but I must keep on going just for the sake of surviving. 

Dear mom and dad, 

Please forgive me…I promise I will never hurt any of you again…. Yes, the mistake was judge but the damage cannot be undone. As guilty as I am to both you…I really want to move on with my life… I’ve lot more to do and explore about this world…so please mom, dad…….give me a chance to make it right… but I can only do it with your blessings.

Dear diary… 

This past months had taught me a lot about life, most of it about relationship between me and God, families, my love one and friends. Life is not easy. There are many things to be considered, but as a person, we aren’t capable of pleasing everyone rite? We too had our own desire; wanting, dreams, and thoughts to be taken care of. Every mind works differently from one another. So don’t ASSUME bout anything or make our own judgement based on what you see and heard. If we are unsure, better ask than let it is…  First, people that I had worked with are not so kind to me – they just want to see me collapse. Second, a bunch of friends that I thought of being my ‘good friends’ are not trustworthy at all – they abandoned me when I needed them the most. Third, family is my life – without them I’ll drown. Fourth, understanding and trust are the crucial key to make a long distance relationship works out. Fifth, if you want to be successful in your career, follow your dreams and not others.

But at the end of the day…there is only one wish that comes to my mind… 

“How I wish my life is like the others... One that had non-drama, non-theatrical, non-conflict… no backstabbers, no break-ups, no lies, no guilt, no sins…….but only HAPPINESS in the world with the one they love…”